Obedience: Guidelines for Sub Ownership  

sumisoamante:

(From Fetlife: Please give credit to this 1998 copyrighted piece written by Lord Colm’s Jade, who died several years ago. You can find the complete original writing titled “What do I need from my Dominant” of which the Submissive Owners Manual is only a section.)

Submissive Owners Manual

I need…

@1 year ago with 24 notes

PHOBIUM: I've reached the bottom of the barrel  

vie-en-vrac:

phobium:

I was completely fucked up the other day when I posted about my mistake I’m surprised I was even able to type what I did. But that’s why my post was incoherent. Anyway, that was the first time I ever slammed heroin and I went crazy when I did, sticking myself over 60 times. The reason I did so…

Please see one and be completely honest with them… I also have very low self-esteem and after I got far too deep in drug addiction and had a very bad night with my personal life(and of course bought lots of drugs, ha) ended up hitting a lightpole, DUI drugs/alcohol, etc, I began seeing one and things have gotten much better. I was diagnosed with a mental illness that has symptoms like drug addiction, reckless driving, and low self-esteem stemming from a seeming enjoyment of self-destructive behavior(I also cut when I was younger). I’ve been reading your posts for months now when you seldom do and wish you the best of luck. There is always a bright future

Thank you very much for the words of encouragement. I’m sorry to hear about your past, that sounds just like me. I had a really scary night the other night when I went to get some dope. While I was waiting I came to the realization that the dope man was going to kill me. He’s a 50 year old gang member that has spent 30+ years in prison and I disrespected him a few times and from the events that happen that night with him I realized that he was going to shoot me for doing so. I got the fuck out of there asap and never looked back. I called the hospital and they have a 12 step that’s 28 days so I’m going there within the next couple days to start my recovery. Thanks again. I’ll still keep everyone updated on what’s going on

(via s-bou)

@1 year ago with 6 notes

I’m done with this. I’m going to drug rehab. I’m through with everything. I need to get my life back in order. If I keep this up I’m going to end up dead. And that’s how I feel I just almost ended up..dead. I’m lucky to still have my life.

Now it’s time to start over.

I’m going to go live in a drug rehab for a few months to get my life back in check

@1 year ago with 3 notes
#dead #killed #shot #stabbed #drugs #heroin 

I’ve reached the bottom of the barrel

I was completely fucked up the other day when I posted about my mistake I’m surprised I was even able to type what I did. But that’s why my post was incoherent. Anyway, that was the first time I ever slammed heroin and I went crazy when I did, sticking myself over 60 times. The reason I did so many times was because my syringe was small and I couldn’t get the proper amount of dope in, and I kept missing veins even though they were clearly visible from the outside, but I guess they were deeper than I actually thought.

To be quite honest it’s going to be very hard for me not to buy more when I get some money. This is how it will go. First the seed will be planted, and I’ll keep telling myself no. Second I’ll eventually convince myself that this will be the last time and I’ll only smoke it. Third I get the dope, smoke it, and realize it’s not hitting anywhere near I want it to. Fourth I’ll get the syringe, load up my shot, then just shoot dope all night. My last 2 day binge was not just heroin but also crank. I speed-balled heroin and meth for 2 days straight. I got the crank (meth) for free so it was nearly impossible for me to turn down.

It’s a Friday night and I have $4.51 in my bank account. I’m about to go down to the sev and buy some steel reserve. If you don’t know already I have low self esteem and this I feel is why I’m so self-destruction with drugs. I feel I reached the very bottom of the barrel when I began shooting heroin a few days ago, and doing crank on a regular basis. I’m going to try and see a psychologist before I end up on the street corner asking for money. I’m only 23 years old.

@1 year ago with 6 notes
#bliss #china white #crank #dope #heroin #high #meth #opiates #self esteem #self-destruction #speed #tar #warmth #drugs 
@1 year ago with 34577 notes
narcodigitalhedonist:

For many users heroin’s soft, warm embrace and the feeling that everything is ok….is an attempt to capture something they never experienced as small children because family was either neglectful, horribly dysfunctional and abusive or simply non-existent.  

narcodigitalhedonist:

For many users heroin’s soft, warm embrace and the feeling that everything is ok….is an attempt to capture something they never experienced as small children because family was either neglectful, horribly dysfunctional and abusive or simply non-existent.  

@1 year ago with 108 notes

s

I lost a really cool FWB just now. It doesn’t seem like it would matter but for me it does. This girl had the best personality out of any girl I’ve ever been with, and I really liked that. Why did I lose her just now? I’ll explain.

I met this girl only a few months ago and we hung out a few times a week since then. I got to know her a little and she had an amazing personality. I didn’t really see her as a GF but we were both happy just being FWBs.

She asked me if she could take me to SF last week to see the Giants game and I agreed. The seed of doing dope was planted in my head the day before we were suppose to head over there and it wouldn’t go away. The hour before I was suppose to go over to her house I couldn’t take it anymore so I obtained ten 30mg morphine pills then went to her house.

I didn’t have time to crush and rail them so I took them with me. Once I got there we left for the city almost right away but before we had to stop by her doctors office for an appointment. I thought “perfect, I’ll do the dope in the bathroom there like old times” so I went to the bathroom, crushed all the pills up, and railed them all within 15min. I left the bathroom feeling that warm bliss throughout my body the opiates give you and was as happy as can be.

We go to SF and since she’s a nurse she noticed I was completely fucked up on something but didn’t say anything about it. She had a 750ml bottle of rum that I killed before we went in. About an hour into the game I had to step out because my entire body was itching from the morphine and I begin throwing up.

I don’t remember but she got me back to her house where I passed out on the bed. During the night I threw up all over her floor then ran to the bathroom to throw up for another hour. She was fucking PISSED after. I woke up and threw up for another 2 hours before passing out on the couch downstairs

During this time she was raging but didn’t show it. I woke up 4 hours later then headed home. She had asked why I threw up and why I had been itching so much but I lied and said it was probably just the alcohol.

I didn’t hear from her for 8 days before I hit her up today and asked if she’d like to talk. She came over just a bit ago and I told her everything I just told you. I hadn’t told her when it happen because I was embarrassed. I have a major opiate problem and don’t like people to know about it. 

Anyway, after I got done telling her I asked “that’s probably it between me and you huh” and she said “yeah” then started crying. I was upset to and still am. I’m not blaming her at all for not wanting to be in a ‘relationship’, if you will, with a drug addict. It’s my fault and I wish so bad I didn’t have this problem.

I’ve lost so many friends over the years due to my addiction. Fuck my life…..

Just a perfect day
Drink Sangria in the park
And then later
When it gets dark, we go home

Just a perfect day
Feed animals in the zoo
Then later
A movie, too, and then home

Oh, it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

Just a perfect day
Problems all left alone
Weekenders on our own
It’s such fun

Just a perfect day
You made me forget myself
I thought I was
Someone else, someone good

Oh, it’s such a perfect day
I’m glad I spent it with you
Oh, such a perfect day
You just keep me hanging on
You just keep me hanging on

You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow
You’re going to reap just what you sow

Lou Reed - Perfect Day: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QYEC4TZsy-Y
@1 year ago with 1 note
#drug #heroin #dope #morphine #high #euphoria #bliss 

Obviously you have two burning questions. “Who am I, and who put me in charge?”. So, let me put you at ease. I’m not in charge. You are. I have no authority over you or anyone else. On the contrary, you…have..authority..over..me. Think of me as a spokesperson for all the people of the world controlled by you.

@2 years ago

Having second thoughts about drug rehab

I still haven’t heard back from the rehab and I left my second voice mail today. I’m starting to have second thoughts about going though. If I go then I’ll be forever labeled as a drug addict in the health care system. My dads friend used to be a heavy drug addict and used a lot of oxycontin. It got out of hand and his work drug tested him and he came back dirty. Since he works at a union job they will not fire you over a failed drug test but send you to rehab.

He spent his time at rehab and is doing good now. The other day he was drunk and walked home but couldn’t get inside because he locked his keys in the house so he went around the side, jumped the fence, and cut his leg DEEP while trying to jump over. He had to go to the ER for stitches and was in A LOT of pain. The doctor was going to give him opiates for the extreme pain but looked him up in the system and saw he used to be a drug addict.

The doctor came back and said “sorry I can’t give you any opiate, you used to be a drug addict. Here’s some Aspirin” then sent him home. He had to suffer for weeks until the pain subsided, and we all know aspirin doesn’t work for shit other than a head ache (at least for me it doesn’t work for pain whatsoever).

I’m also getting a prescription for adderall and I sell them all when I get my refill. I’m dirt poor right now getting $8 an hour and 3-6 hours a week so my paychecks are really low. I desperately need that money I get because my paychecks are usually between $30 and $60.

This is my update and having second thoughts about going. I might just try on my own to kick my habit because I don’t want to end up like my dads friend and have to suffer because I’m labeled as a drug addict in the health care system.

Another addiction of mine is working out. It’s been an addiction since I was 15 and I get overly obsessed with the nutrition aspect of bodybuilding. I think I’m just going to use that to help me quit. Each time I get a craving I’ll just hit the gym. If I already hit weights that day I’ll go for some much needed cardio.

@1 year ago
#heroin #addiction #health #working out #bodybuilding #adderall #oxycontin 

update

I called the hospital earlier today because my mom told me that our insurance will cover a live in rehab and sure enough they do. I left a voice mail and hope to leave as soon as possible, from what I heard the program is a 12-step that lasts 28 days and I’ll be living there in the facility during the program. I’m really looking forward to it because I heard from a friend that it will change my life completely, and for the better.

She told me that I’ll have to give up not just the hard drugs but also alcohol and weed and I’m 100% ok with that since I had planned on greatly reducing if not completely stop smoking weed since it’s definitely become an addiction for me. I’m at the point like I was previously in my life where I can’t even sleep unless I’ve smoked and this is why I’m up right now.

I’ve been watching videos on sobriety today and I’m really excited to get my life back together. For those of you that might be curious as to what heroin actually feels like then watch this video. It sums it up really good. Highly recommended. It’s only 3:50 long so don’t worry

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=-9huWlXFA1s

@1 year ago with 1 note
#heroin #drugs #high #use #addiction #addict #rehab #12 step 

Used

I go into my work today to get my paycheck (which was really low) and since it was slightly more than I thought I was suppose to get I decided right then and there I was going to cop some dope. I get to the dope man after picking my friend up, cashing my paycheck, and driving around. Then I have to wait even longer because my guy had to run somewhere to get it since he was out

When your a drug addict there is ALWAYS a fucking wait to get the shit and it drives you crazy. But I finally get my shit and me and a few buddy’s head over to his place to party. My friends do crank and I’m the only one that does heroin. After we get there I shoot most of my dope and I was barely high..it sucks because the dope is good but my tolerance has built up so high after using every day for 4 days. By the way, I mostly slammed it but did smoke a SMALL amount.

I’m not buying anymore for awhile now and we’ll see how I feel tomorrow after not using. Will I feel like shit tomorrow? Did I get physically addicted after only 3-4 days of heroin use? I doubt it but I guess only time will tell. I might update my status tomorrow to tell everyone if I’m dopesick or not. I’m itching now even though I’m barely high so I’m smoking a little weed right now. Until then, good night and good luck.

@1 year ago with 1 note
#H #addict #addiction #crank #dope #drug #heroin #meth #sick #slam #opiate 

Made a mistake….

Made a big mistake yesterday but all is good now 2. I’ve been slamming heroin the last 2 days straight and the feeling I get is fantastic. It’s so hard for me to stop, and I just hope I’m not physically hurting myself bad enough from all the H, which I already know I am .. I’ve stuck myself over 60 times.

Vascularity is important to me and I hope so bad none of my veins collapsed. I guess I’ll notice in a few weeks how many negative side effects that I got from the two day heroin binge, and I’m finishing the last of my dope as I type this.

Wish me luck on my recovery from this awfully addicting drug.

@1 year ago with 1 note
#binge #heroin #drug #addict #opiate #bliss #warmth #speed #crank #crystal #tar 
culturerevo:

fun facts

culturerevo:

fun facts

(Source: sexriots, via culturerevo)

@1 year ago with 198 notes

Food for thought

You can see less that 1% of the electromagnetic spectrum and hear less than 1% of the acoustic spectrum. Actually, because both are technically infinite, you can see and hear exactly 0%. As you read this, you are traveling at 220 kilometers per second across the galaxy. 90% of the cells in your body carry their own microbial DNA and are not “you”. The atoms in your body are 99.9999999999999999% empty space and none of them are the ones you were born with, but they all originated in the belly of a star.

@1 year ago with 3 notes
#psychedelic #brain #human #DNA #galaxy 

Dom Your Bitch

Dom Your Bitch (bish)

The misc is full of self improvement threads like no fap and whatnot. Personally I have begun to find another source of confidence, motivation, improved relationship with women and sex life, but it takes a similar journey of self-discovery as all the others; sexual domination.

The last thread I made about the subject failed hard due to virgins and cheeky kunts, but dominating women sexually is srs business, it takes learning and discipline and it’s more than just a little hair pulling and ass slapping.

Sexual domination is primarily a psychological experience, not a physical one. It’s also not BDSM. It’s about tapping into a girl’s inner primal instincts of submissive femininity and physical inferiority. Nothing can compare to the sight of an ordinarily strong, independent woman completely giving herself up to you for your pleasure and the rush will improve both your sex life and your confidence outside of the bedroom. Imo a lot of men these days are turning to submissive fantasies because of the over-the-top standards that pornography sets them and the freedom women have to be provocative causing men to pander to them rather than rise to the challenge and match their sexual confidence.

Be warned however, as you explore this side of sex more fully your personality will begin to change. It is possible that couples may allow their sexual personae to leak out into their everyday life. If both partners enjoy this then no harm done but it’s worth noting the psychosexual impact that true domination can have.

Read More

(Source: forum.bodybuilding.com)

@2 years ago with 2 notes
#dom #sub #bitch #BDSM